All in Stories

A Chicken and a Fly

Halloween 2006, I was working for a family friend making soft props (drapes, bedding, pillows) for movies. Sharon had tons of crazy costumes hanging all over her studio. Every day, I would stare at them longingly and when Halloween came, I asked if I could borrow them to give out candy.

Failing at Sleeping

I am terrible at sleeping. I either go too long or too short. I can never find that sweet spot between drooling and dry leather tongue. If I hear any noise, instead of waking up, I talk to it (EMBARRASSING.) I never achieve cute bedhead. Instead, I wake up with a lions mane on one side of my head and strands of spaghetti on the other. I am always either too hot or too cold.

We All Went Through a Kenny G Phase, Right?

When I was a young girl I found a tape of Kenny G. music. Now we all know that nobody is responsible for the music they listen to when they are young. And if you didn't know that, now you do. And knowing is as good as agreeing. I was OBSESSED with that tape. I listened to it all the time. I could hum every sax note in perfect disharmony.

Unfortunately, this was also the period where I became obsessed with big curly hair. Like Kenny's.

Attacked by a Goose in the Snow

I used to live in Stratford, Ontario. Stratford is in something we Canadians call a "Snow Belt", meaning that it snows from basically November to May. A lot. I was thoroughly equipped with snow gear by my mom before moving to Stratford. Super warm boots and a very ugly puffy coat and about 40 scarves. But there are still limitations. Like... you can only see as far as you can see in a blizzard, and your legs are still only their normal length, and your feet are not snowshoes and never will be.

Everyone Has Pineapple Pants In Their Past

When I was in grade nine my mom found a pair of pants she had in the '70's and passed them on to me. They were black and harem-style-ish and had black embroidered pineapples all over them. Since grade nine was the year that I started growing (I think I grew 3 inches that year), I quickly outgrew them and the ankle band sat mid-calf for most of that year.

Old Ladies in Space

I love costume parties like I love loudly singing to myself on my bicycle. Which is to say: A LOT. Although I have a costuming background and was a seamstress for a few years, I am completely impatient and lazy when it comes to crafting my own costumes. The planning, patience and time required to craft a truly amazing outfit is beyond me. It's like there is an amazing sliding scale of standards in my mind that means that after one hour of labour on a costume for myself, I am suddenly willing to settle for being a paper bag princess. Every year.

Reading is Sexy, Dammit!

I love reading. A lot. I read my first book when I was in grade one and I was unstoppable from that point. When we would go to the library in grade school, my mom would limit me to 16 books a visit. I would always zip through them long before the due date. I worked through most of our local library. Mysteries, Science Fiction, Fantasy, Popular Novels, Teen Romances, Kids paperbacks -- I loved them all.