Growing a Baby
Jay and I are having a baby! We are so so excited. We told friends and family a few weeks ago, but I wanted to write more of my feelings about pregnancy here. I know I've been totally absent from this space for months... it was hard to write while morning sickness was running rampant and I am still finding it hard to have energy in the day for anything other than growing the baby.
This last year has been so chaotic. I didn't write a post on here for my 31st birthday... but I remember thinking "Last year I wasn't engaged. Or married. Or pregnant. I had a different job. THIS YEAR HAS BEEN CRAZY." Since recovering (mostly) from morning sickness that wiped me out... I've just been growing the baby. I'm finding it hard to motivate myself to get up and go with the drive that powered me through the last few years. Maybe it's because I have low iron (I finally started a supplement for that last week and look... here's a blog post, so maybe it's working!). Maybe 'Pregnant Amanda' is just slower moving and lower energy than my normal self. Maybe I am just recovering from a year of intense changes and emotional upheaval. Or maybe it's okay to just slow down and take things easy sometimes.
Jay, Finn, and the kitties have all been excellent to me lately. Finn lies with me when I am sick/ have headaches / need to nap. The kitties take every opportunity to lie on my increasing belly (we joke that they think they are "hatching" the baby and are probably going to be pretty surprised when it isn't a kitten). Jay has been beyond patient and helpful from the beginning. He has done far more than his normal share of housework, fed me, fed me again when I couldn't stomach the first thing he made, cleaned up all the dishes, washed our sheets and the dog when my sensitive pregnancy nose couldn't stand the smell of one-day-old sheets, driven around the city to find me sticky rice and peanut sauce that was gluten free (cravings!), never told me to stop whining, rubbed my back, brought me barf bowls, and held me when I cried my heart out over totally ridiculous things.
Before we were sharing that I was pregnant, people would ask us if marriage felt any different. We lived together before getting married so I would always tell them "nope!"... but that's not true. I've been pregnant for all but maybe two weeks of our marriage and I feel like I have seen a different (awesome) side of Jay every day. Hopefully he knows that I won't stay this whiny, cranky, hangry, and sleepy forever. Ha! I should be back to my old self by the time the baby is, like, 18 years old.
And now, since I like sharing embarrassing stories about myself (and oh my god, there are so many new ones to choose from!), here is a story:
I was driving the Jeep for a few days, but forgot to ever look at the gas gauge. I blame that on "pregnancy brain", since I am normally very good about that. So basically, it is completely 100% my fault that I noticed the needle was on the red line as I pulled into the post office in a little town near our house that has no gas station.
Unfortunately, I completely forgot that I had been driving the car for days when I texted Jay at work to tell him "You left no gas in the car and I am STRANDED and you need to come and get me." He called me and (very politely) pointed out that he hadn't actually driven that car lately, and that also he was at work and very busy and couldn't come get me. He suggested I call CAA and get them to come bring me some gas.
I started crying (thank you, hormones) because I didn't want to admit to the guy from CAA that it was totally my fault that I had no gasoline and was stuck. Then there was an awkward silence where I just sobbed into my end of the phone and Jay sat there in silence, because what do you say when your emotionally distraught wife refuses to save herself? Finally he remembered that he installed a thing in the car that tells us how far we have left to drive on the gas we have left, figured out a gas station I could make it to and gave me directions on how to get there. He is a hero!