I walked by Office Robot's desk today and he was missing one work boot. Which left him with just a mangled tangle of wires where his boot should be.
The poor guy. He was obviously having a bad day, even his bum cloud was looking flat. I went with him to buy new boots on our coffee break. He told me that he thought maybe an angry subway mouse ate his boot, and because he has no feelings, he didn't notice until it was too late.
No nose and only one boot. If you could get fired for being pathetic-looking, he would be in trouble.