Guest Post: My Underbrain is in Control OR How I Invented a Convenient Excuse for the Ridiculous Things I Say and Do
I thought it would be time for a guest post from someone else connected to the Green Room! Guest author Kelly Kirkham is the artistic mastermind behind Run Rabbit Run, a company that mixes puppets, illustration, collage, performance, and blossoming directorial skills. I almost snorted my tea through my nose reading this, so enjoy!
Recently it has come to my attention that there is a section of my brain that appears to have access to some sort of master override switch. I can be having a normal conversation, saying normal things, when suddenly something comes out of my mouth that has somehow snuck past the censers. Sometimes it makes me appear cleverer than I actually am; usually it makes me appear... less so. As Scientists haven’t gotten around to sharing just what this part of the brain might be called, I shall call it ‘The Underbrain’.
The Underbrain has a fine time mixing up words on me. I can almost hear it cackling with glee as I say things like “my scrack needs batching” or “knead that dread bough”. My favourite one, if it can be called that, is when I was talking to some friends about what might go nicely with sausages. I suggested waffles, then proceeded to say “Waffles and sausages, waffles and sausages” just because I liked the sound. Bad idea.
Underbrain was waiting for just such a lapse in judgement, and pounced, making the next words that came out of my mouth “Sassles and waffauges” Ha... Sassle. Who would eat a sassle?
My Underbrain really enjoys puns, and I must pretend that I enjoy them too, what with the frequency that it spews them out. Examples of puns I might toss into a normal conversation include mentioning ‘the main event’ when talking about horses and ‘the key to opening it’ when talking about stuck doors. Once I saw a Wonder Bread truck parked down the street offering free** hot dog buns, and everyone was excitedly running around with their arms full, so I told my partner that there were a whole bunch of people milling around a bread truck at the corner. I didn’t choose that especially apt wording, must have been Underbrain.
All pretty small potatoes (or pall smotatoes) compared to Underbrain putting my friends at risk. You know how if someone tells you they are allergic to something, you shouldn’t offer them that food ever again? Well, The Underbrain finds it endlessly amusing to make me repeatedly offer my friends and loved ones those very foods that they are allergic to. Mangoes, avocados, nuts, you name it; if my friends are allergic to it, I want to give them some.
I hope you will keep my Underbrain in mind (ha!) next time I say something that makes no sense, or if I try to offer you more of that tasty guacamole, and won’t take no for an answer. It’s not me. It’s The Underbrain.
*Yes, I am aware these waffles look like manhole*** covers. But hey. When was the last time I saw a waffle?
**Those hot dog buns weren’t actually free, but were instead $1.00. But no one wants to read about the bread truck filled with $1.00 hot dog buns. Boooorrrrring.
*** Maintenance hole covers.
If anyone is interested in seeing more of Kelly's illustrations or puppets, you can follow her blog and projects via Run Rabbit Run. If anyone is interested in guest posting, just leave a comment and we can discuss guidelines.