Warm and White Floral Bouquet web.jpg

Amanda Farquharson is a fine artist from Dundas, Ontario. Her work is cheerful, colourful, bright, and explores themes of nature, family, animals, and memory.

All Boats Have Spiders, But ESPECIALLY THAT ONE.

All Boats Have Spiders, But ESPECIALLY THAT ONE.

rinsing the rowboat

When I was an early teen, I had a fairly healthy fear of spiders built up. We've seen evidence of this in previous posts, but this story is one of the instances that morphed my fear into a downright paranoia. It will also explain why people saying "But THIS spider is just a baby" sends me into a rage.

Our cottage had a rowboat, a canoe, and a small one-person sailboat that my dad would take out. I am coordination and balance challenged, so the rowboat is the obvious choice for me. I wanted to go out in the lake on my own and just chill out and float, but I was afraid there might be spiders in the boat. If I were trapped on the lake with a spider, one of us was probably going to drown and it probably wasn't going to be the spider that kicked it.

My dad, although groaning a bit about my phobia, took the rowboat into the lake and tipped it a couple of times, so it was soaking wet but all the spiders would have been flushed out. I buckled into my life jacket, grabbed the oars, clambered in, and made my way out to sea.

Rowboat full of Spiders

I was out very deep when the eggs full of baby spiders hatched.

This picture is how I remember it looking.

Within a minute, there were baby spiders running all over my arms and legs. I did what any girl with a huge fear of spiders and an ingrained terror of what would happen to her if she swam back to shore without the rowboat would do.

I started screaming.

Who knows what everyone on shore thought, watching me row in, screaming hysterically and shrieking and hitting myself and rowing in like a shark ate half of my leg.

Jumping From The Rowboat

My family ran out to the sandbar to catch the boat right before I bailed out of it in a sobbing fit. One huge dive into the lake and I started thrashing around in hopes that baby spiders aren't very good at holding on through a human rollercoaster. I stayed in the lake for a long time, diving repeatedly and crying. I haven't touched the rowboat since then.

Lessons learned? Spiders are everywhere but especially on boats. Water makes baby spiders hatch. Do not go anywhere where you might be contained in a confined space with a spider. Baby spiders look like monster spiders when you are trapped with them. Boats are not my friends.

5 Scantily Clad Bridesmaids and a Bunny

5 Scantily Clad Bridesmaids and a Bunny

The Girl Needs Her Hair Ties. Also, I Am 'The Girl'.

The Girl Needs Her Hair Ties. Also, I Am 'The Girl'.