Demon Kitten Ninjas
We had Jay's kittens up to the cottage. The little jerks are cute, I will give them that. It was nice to have them because our 24-year-old cat Kayla passed away about a month ago and we are used to having a feline presence in the cottage.
Kayla: Super old. Crotchety. For fun she liked to turn in a circle 40+ times before going into a hesitant half-crouch for an hour while she considered lying down then finally when her legs gave out she would flop down in whatever way was the least painful. Sometimes when she wanted real excitement, she would pee or throw up partway through that process. She slept like a pro and only got up from the couch when it was an extreme emergency. So you will see why I wasn't used to the kittens.
Lucy & Mocha: 8 Months Old. Mocha (multi-coloured splotches), small, and terrified of everything. For fun she likes to do the Wishbone head-tilt and she is REALLY easy to confuse. She always looks at you like you just surprised the heck out of her for existing. Probably because when she turns her head away, she forgets you are there. Lucy (ginger) is smart and she is also a cat ninja. She uses her paws like human hands to pick things up and open doors. She can jump really far and she can eat a huge piece of dental floss whole and then puke it back up (surprise!).
The walls at the cottage don't go to the ceiling (as you know from this post) and I thought it would be cute and funny to show Lucy that she could jump to the wall above Brenna's bed. This backfired because Lucy is smart and it only took her 30 seconds to see that she could do this exact same thing in our room.
All night. Repeatedly. While mewling.
I don't know which kitten was worse that night. I mean... Lucy was pretty bad because she would leap from my stomach to the top of wall, jump down the other side, run through the dining room and living room and in our door again, up on the bed, position herself on my stomach and repeat. Mocha was launching herself off the bed, which is a plus, but she was way less sure if she could make the jump so every time she jumped up she would scramble for a hold on the wall and I would wait with baited breath and a terrified expression for her to come crashing down in a clawing and fuzzy fury on my head.
The highlight was when Lucy decided to jump down on my tummy from the wall and I woke up with a surge of adrenaline and a stream of curses, curling in a ball and trying not to puke up dinner at 3am.
Jay slept through most of it. In the morning the cats were awake at 6am and Mocha climbed on the bed to check out whether Jay and I were up yet. I could feel her breath on my face and hear her questioning grunts but I was SO angry I couldn't open my eyes. I think I might have growled "Those...are.....DEMON KITTIES" and I could hear Jay chuckling. His only words of advice? "Open your eyes, when you see how cute they are you won't be mad anymore!"
No, I didn't punch him. It's hard to punch people with your eyes shut.