Corn. On The Cob. And Then Not On The Cob.

Eating Corn On The Cob Funny

I eat corn a wee bit funny. I just eat it really... precisely. So at the end, the corn has nothing left on it.

Like how a bird would eat it.

Anyways. After the Neti Pot post, which Jay only heard about once I posted about it, he asked me if I had any other big shockers that he needed to know about. Just so he isn't sitting there, staring at his blackberry in horror, mid-meeting, after finding out some terrible revelation I feel I need to make to the internet.

I confessed that I "kind of eat corn funny".

"How funny is funny?"

"Um, I just... eat it really cleanly. And I really like corn."

"That doesn't sound too bad!"

"Good! Yeah! No worries. It's hardly even weird."

"Yeah! I mean I eat corn really cleanly, too!"

So we smiled at each other and I tried not to worry about it.

Months go by. It becomes summer. Corn grows and is picked. My mom buys it. She brings it to the cottage this last weekend and boils it for dinner.

As we sat down for dinner I could see Jay grinning from across the table. He was obviously trying not to make me feel self-conscious but I could tell that I he couldn't WAIT to see how I eat corn. I bet, internally, he was thinking "this can't even be that bad!". Or maybe, internally, he was thinking "everything else that she warned me about has ended up being totally epic and revolting. Will I have to dump her after this?"

So I ate the corn. My cousin Sandra piped up "I can't wait to see how Amanda eats corn! I have heard about this!".

I chuckled feebly from behind my corn.

Four hours later we are at a bonfire with my cousins.

"....really clean. CLEAN. Like... as if you saw this corn rotting in a field after months. With nothing left on it. Nothing! And I can't believe..."

"YOUCANSTOPDISCUSSINGITNOWTHANKYOUVERYMUCH"

But at least it's over. And Jay still loves me. I know because I asked four separate times since then, two of which were surprise-attack askings after leading in with a decoy conversation starter. So it must be true.

 

The background picture of the corn comes from Wharman