Broken-Footed. Or, You Know, Pretty Much So.
A few summers ago I fell off a deck. I was reminded of it the other day when I was telling Alessandra in commiseration with her newly broken foot.
I wanted to blog Al's story but she said she "just fell into a wall". Which sounds like an awesome story, actually, but fine. I will settle for my own story.
My dear friend and past roomie Kim wanted to go to a bonfire in the country. So we did. We were helping to carry chairs off of a porch when my leg got stuck and I fell. Not that you can fall gracefully but I don't even think this was that spectacular. From what I remember I was walking and then I was on the ground. I was all like "Oh! I'm Okay, I'm...not okay. Ah. Um. I can't get up."
But it still seemed okay? They convinced me that if they carried me to the bonfire and gave me some whiskey I would be totally fine in an hour. Yes. Good plan. Much better than hours in ER. I didn't really think this through that well, though, since once they started drinking there was nobody to drive me should I change my mind.
Which I did.
After an hour of misery with my leg propped up on the offending chair that knocked me off the porch, I started whimpering a bit. The men (I had the good fortune to fall off the porch of three people who owned a gym together) picked me up and carried me in to the couch where I fell asleep. In the morning I woke up in searing agony in both my foot and my bladder. The bladder pain eventually overrode the foot pain and I got up from the couch and started careening/hopping around the house in search of any bathrooms. When hopping/careening on one foot, there is only one way to go: you just propel yourself with the hopping until you hit a wall. Then you use the wall to turn and go again.
I guess this made a lot of noise since people woke up and decided they should go for brunch.
So they packed me into the car and drove to a breakfast spot in Stratford. Lifted me out of the car, up the steps and into the restaurant. I did mention previous to this that I could use a hospital but breakfast seemed more important to the group at large so I took 4 tylenols and a piggy back ride as the best I was going to get.
I never ended up going to the hospital. I actually went to start a new job the next day on crutches and with many ice packs. I can remember the girl training me was explaining how I needed to walk to the bank every afternoon and looking at my leg doubtfully and I was just nodding enthusiastically like that wasn't going to take me an hour and a half on crutches.
I wish I had fallen into a wall. It would have been cooler.
Picture of the deck comes from Rick and Seneca