This is what life looks like now. I haven't made the bed. I haven't washed anything but bottles today, so the kitchen is a mess. I showered, but didn't bother with make-up or drying my hair, which has been in a wet bun since 7am. My back is spasming, I stepped in poison ivy so my foot is swollen and itchy, and I rolled over the toe on my other foot with a shopping cart, so the entire toe is black. We went to Mother Goose at Ontario Early Years this morning and I didn't know half of the songs, so I just made up lots of words. My baby isn't wearing any pants and neither am I.
But YOU GUYS!!!! We just spent an hour and a half reading our favourite stories in a sunlit bed and then fell asleep all cuddled together in the detritus of all our favourite books and I actually, ACTUALLY can't imagine spending the afternoon in any better way.
Sometimes I read about people who are so busy and this movement about learning to live life slowly. I used to be super busy like that. And now I am not. Or, I mean... I AM. I should be. (Like... who types a blog post when they have 549 unwashed bowls on their kitchen counter?... this girl. Not to worry, I will do them in a few minutes. Hopefully.) Life is slow right now. I have no complaints... but it does sometimes make me feel like I might be doing this mom thing wrong.
I have been like a craft junky these days... learning to embroider AND weave AND crochet. I think Jay knows how much it means to my sense of identity to still MAKE THINGS. Sometimes motherhood feels all consuming. And I mean that in the best and also the worst way. Like there is nothing better than spending an entire day making your baby smile. Until they go to bed and you realize you haven't said a single sentence that made sense since 5:30am, and even then it was only "Can you heat up 3oz of milk?" or "Please for the love of god, let me shower before you go to work". I am loving learning new skills, even though the crochet learning curve has been especially frustrating (You guys, I realized the other day that when I crochet I actually stick my tongue out in concentration, like a cartoon!). It's nice to watch my baby AND occupy my hands, when they aren't full of baby! (And making things makes my time pumping milk seem less like a huge time waste).
Anyways... that's life right now. Crafts and reading to Molly and not doing enough chores. It's pretty great.