You Know What Makes Me Happy? The Cottage
We finally opened the cottage! It was so good to go up there. Even though we had to buy a roof carrier for the Jeep because we can't fit Finn in the trunk, the baby in the back seat and all of our baby stuff on the remaining chunk of the back seat. We didn't get a ton of time up there, since we arrived Saturday so that my mom and Brenna and her fiance could warm up the cottage before Molly arrived.
It was nice to spend time with everyone. We've had lots of short visits with people lately, but this weekend everyone got as much Molly cuddle time as they wanted! Also... my family took care of all the meals, which was such a welcome relief. Thanks, guys!!
The lake (Lake Huron) wasn't frozen solid, but it had ice chunks almost to the horizon. Finn had so much fun playing unlimited fetch on an empty beach (something we don't test in the summer because of his easily distracted personality... he will totally run to meet a dog three miles away if he sees it coming -- not ideal!) that he got so hot he lay down in the lake after breaking up the ice near the edge. He's crazy.
Along with the good stuff came one of the most sleepless nights I have had so far since having Molly. For whatever reason (new place? too warm? too much sleep in the car?) she did NOT sleep well. So neither did I. At 2am I found myself silently sobbing, curled up beside her playpen. There's something about knowing I won't sleep that makes me panic, which means I am even less likely to sleep, starting a vicious cycle I have yet to win. Finn was whining to go outside so we went out on the deck, with me barefoot in my nursing gown.
I don't know why I looked up, but I did and the stars in the sky seemed brighter and more beautiful than they have in years. And just like that my tears stopped. In comparison to that huge sky and those ageless stars, my problems seemed pretty small. Which isn't to say I am fine with not sleeping. In fact, I would say I am kind of obsessive and neurotic about sleep these days, and unapologetically so. And that's still true. But sometimes, when you need it the most, the universe finds ways to give you some perspective.